You're NOT Worthless

The past day or so the news have talked about Elizabeth Smart  and a speech she gave at Johns Hopkins at their Human Trafficking Forum. If you really want to know what she said here is the speech.

A friend of mine commented on her speech on Facebook and I really liked what he had to say. He said, "She talked about how a rape victim feels diminished and worthless. She mentioned how she felt what was most valuable to her had been taken. She also noted something one of her junior high instructors taught (during a discussion of abstinence), that someone who had sex before marriage was like a "chewed piece of gum" that no one would ever want to chew again. How sad that she was taught a pernicious lie like that! There are those with a very distorted concept of how God views His children. Teachers have such a weight of responsibility to ensure they are not teaching falsehoods to impressionable young minds. The media is tying this dangerous concept to the teaching of abstinence, which is unfortunate--the two are NOT joined at the hip. When abstinence is taught properly and in conjunction with the principle of repentance and Christ's atonement it builds and enhances the individual's self-worth, not diminishes it. Those who teach the "chewed gum" or "pull the nail from the board but the hole remains" lies would somehow limit the Savior's ability to cleanse and eagerness to forgive. No one, whether a victim of rape, or one who merely succumbs to temptation, should ever feel worthless, or that they cannot be cleansed, healed and forgiven. Our Savior took care of all that. I should have also added that at least twice during her speech she noted that she felt a deep reassurance that her parents would still love and accept her with no regard for the sexual abuse. The main thrust of her speech was to promote early education that empowers children at a very young age to fight back against predators, and to be very aware of potentially hazardous situations. She also made it VERY clear that asking "why didn't you run away or cry out for help" is not an appropriate question to ask a victim of abuse or abduction."

I agree with him. One thing that has bothered me is some media outlets are saying the "chewed gum" analogy was from her LDS teachings. I really hope that no one was ever taught that. When I was in Young Womens I was never taught that I was worthless if I broke a commandment and especially if ever I was victimized. I'm so sad if anyone was taught that. Please know that you are special, loved and of great worth, no matter what is going on in your life. 

I truly feel that we need to teach our children more about sex. I personally feel that abstinence is the first thing to teach my children about sex before marriage. I also feel that they should know about sex. If they make the decision to have sex before marriage they need to know how to protect themselves. I can't force my children to live the way I want them to. I can teach them all I can and all I know and hope they make the best decision. I would especially want to teach them that if they do have sex before marriage they are not worthless. They are still loved. Children especially need to be taught how to protect themselves. Teach them that they need to fight back. That no matter what happens to them, they are of value and they are important.

Here's another speech Elizabeth Smart gave that gives some instruction and tools to protect your children.