"Let's break it down. You want to be creative; you want to be in the spotlight. Face it: You want to be me. So here's the deal, you do with your depressive little group of kids what I did with my wealthy, elderly mother: Euthanize it."
"I'm reasonably confident you will be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school 
glee club, and finding a hair style that doesn't make you look like a lesbian. Love ya like a sister."
glee club, and finding a hair style that doesn't make you look like a lesbian. Love ya like a sister.""You think this is hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told that they're going in another directioin. That was hard."
"You wouldn't know if your glee club was using your office to breed rabbits for pets or for food. You know why? You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hair with enormous amounts of product. I mean today it just looks like you put lard in it."
"All I want is just one day a year where I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties. Seriously, Ohio, these retinas need a day off."
"That ws the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching. And that includes an elementary school production of "Hair".
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