Some of you know that for the past few years Hutch and I have been trying to start our family. Over two years of fertility pills and two miscarriages later, I'm getting more and more discouraged. I get extremely jealous when a friend announces their pregnant (although I am happy as well) or when I hear about another teenager getting pregnant. We can't afford to adopt right now (sometime in the future we'd like to). So it just leaves us to wait until it happens.
The other night we were blessed with the opportunity to clean the Salt Lake Temple. It's amazing how vacuuming the temple can still bring on spiritual experiences. While I was vacuuming I realized how truly blessed I am. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and takes care of me. Who lets me cry each month we find out I'm not pregnant. Who holds me and reminds me that it will happen someday. I'm also blessed with wonderful nieces and nephews that let me spoil them to my heart's content. They help fill the void that I feel. Every hug and kiss and "I luv wo Canice" is the world to me. Or when they fight over who I belong to. "My Candice" "No, my Candice". I also have wonderful friends that let me be a part of their kid's lives as well. The temple is a wonderful place to remind us of our families and that we will have them forever. Even if our family doesn't get started right now, when it does it will last forever.
6 comments:
I believe that those of us who have to "wait" for our families/children are truly blessed. Heavenly Father gives us the added strength to endure all the heartache and pain. And in the end, be it now, later or in the hereafter we get the best spirits to raise, love & teach. It will happen sweetie! Love you!
(Sorry, I don't know what I did to delete my first post)
I hear ya, friend. And, I feel your pain. Our daughter took a long time and a miscarriage to get here and the next one is in no bigger hurry. Already done the second miscarriage but it's taken even longer this time than it did last time (which already felt like an eternity.) Every month she gets older hurts. It's that much farther apart they'll be. IF we're even blessed with another one.
My sister-in-law just announced she's pregnant and I feel the same way you described. This is their 3rd and I'm happy for them, but oh so jealous at the same time.
I do feel though, that those of us that have to wait longer for their kids appreciate them more. At first I didn't think so. How in the world could someone that got pregnant fast (and didn't get sick) not love/appreciate thier child as much as me. The more I look around me though, the more I'm convinced otherwise. Maybe not in all cases, of course, but at least some. I've even had friends tell me that I appreciate my daughter more than they do their kids. You realize, to an even greater extent, what a treasure they are when you do finally get them.
Good luck with everything, and hang in there. *hugs*
I know Im your "Sista" and all, but I did not know.!! I was..... get ready.... 39. (I had alot to learn, and patience was a big one) but at 40 you pretty much dont care about all the non important stuff. I know you will be a Mom. ANd a GREAT one.
I love YOU.
Kellie
I know you and Hutch will be awesome parents when the time does finally come. I love you, Candice.
Ooh, Candice. This post filled me with the spirit! I love how positive you are, esp when something so close to the heart can be difficutl... You are truly amazing. You are in my prayers,
Amanda Panda
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