Mothers

I'm currently reading a book called "We're Just Like You Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle." It's hilarious! I'm laughing out loud through the whole book. Then I hit a chapter about mothers day. She (the author-Celia Rivenbark) talks about making her mother an ashtray in school for mother's day, then the next year making a piece of art out of a paper plate and macaroni. She talks about how as an adult she is usually rushing at the last minute to get gifts for her mother and mother-in-law and she sees her 4 year old daughter spend weeks working on an art project made out of rocks, feathers and colored paper that she puts her heart into. She talks about how she needs to go back to the macaroni magic. She states,

"So the macaroni magic will not be craft induced for me. Maybe not for you either. It can be simply sitting and talking under the sycamore tree in the backyard of the home you grew up in.
On day, it will be my daughter who will be scowling in line at the gift-wrap counter, and she will have long forgotten a sunny May afternoon when she was four and so excited about her Mother's Day project that she couldn't even sleep the night before.
That's life. I know it. And I know something more: that on those long days when we in the sandwich generation feel squeezed and spent and are tempted to grouse about being either mother or daughter, we should be fall-on-our-knees grateful for both.
Because the trush is simple. Our time is fleeting and dear. As a good friend explained it, one day it is our mother who is buying us the Chatty Cathy that we begged for; the next, or so it seems, we find ourselves taking a baby doll as a gift to a mother in the nursing home. It has always struck me that women in nursing home beds almost always have baby dolls in their rooms. I suspect it is because they remind them of the happiest time of their lives. I know it is mine.
One day, in a hospital room somewhere, you will hold a hand that you can't even recognize anymore. It may be thin and dry and tiny, the rings way too big even with the guards you bought for her at the jewelry store.
Look closer and you'll recognize the hand that pushed you in the swing, the one that felt your burning forehead when you were sick, the one that stroked your hair the first time you had your heart broken and cried for a solid three hours.
For all of you mothers, for all of you who want to be mothers, for all of you "other mothers" who nurture children not your own, may you have a lifetime of Mother's Days filled with your own brand of macaroni magic. I plan to."

I sit here with tears streaming down my cheeks thinking about all of the mothers I've had in my life. I'm so grateful for each and everyone of them. They have made me who I am today. I'm most especially grateful for my own mother. She has spent the last 32 years telling me I'm beauitful, I'm talented and I'm loved over and over again. And even though there are times when I don't believe it or feel I deserve it, I love hearing it from her because I know she truely means it. Mom, I love you with all my heart and words can't express how much you mean to me and how thankful I am to our Heavenly Father that I have you. I hope that you never forget that and that you never forget that I'm always here for you with any help you may need; no matter how small or large. You are my first best friend, my first confidate, my first example. I'm truely who I am today because of you. I hope to bring the macaroni magic back into your life.

Easter, Apple Sauce and Artwork

Since I have been so busy with our stake musical I haven't blogged much. I missed sending Easter pictures and other activities we had done. We were able to spend the day up in Logan with my brother and sister-in-law and I haven't written about that yet either. I will dedicate a blog to that day soon.

Easter was a fun day at our house. P got hot wheels in his basket and you'd thought we'd given him a million dollars. He was so excited and impatient while we opened the package for him. We also hid plastic Easter eggs with Hersey kisses in them throughout our back yard. Sadly, I was silly and didn't take pictures or film it. You'll just have to take my word that it was a lot of fun. Once we showed Agent P that there was chocolate in the eggs, he was determined to find them all and had a lot of fun finding them. Before church we tried to get a family picture taken. Here are the best two we could get.

P was done with photos shortly after taking only a few. He wanted to play instead.

A few months ago my parents, sisters and I got together and made homemade apple sauce and canned them. It's really good if I do say so myself. Agent P also really likes it. Last night we gave him some with his dinner and he went all out trying to eat every last drop. It got all over the place. All over his face, hair, chair, hands, clothes, everywhere! When the spoon didn't work for him, he just picked it up and tried to drink it, when that didn't work he just scooped it out with his hands. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Last night Hutch and I were reminded why we must pay attention to sounds that P makes or doesn't make. Hutch and I were in the living room sitting on the couch talking about our day when we realized we hadn't heard P for a while. I walked into the hallway and he was standing there with a pencil and a really big smile. He then showed me his artwork.

That would be the wall in the hallway. He was so proud of it. I tried to get him to stand next to it so I could take a picture of him with it, but he wouldn't. We are sooooooo thankful that it was a pencil so it will be easy to clean off. We are still trying to get him to understand that we draw on paper, not walls. Silly kid!

Bucket List

Wow! Three blogs in one day! Something must be wrong with me. Or I'm bored. Or I'm just in a sharing mood. My three blog readers should feel lucky, wait, am I up to four now?

I have a bucket list. I've never actually seen the movie. I've heard it's good so does that count? But I have a small list of things I'd like to accomplish before I die. They are:

A. Visit all of the Presidential Libraries - I've visited one (so I'm a step further than some people)
B. Cook my way through a cookbook - I don't which one yet. I haven't picked it yet. I do love Paula Deen but not sure how it would affect my waistline. I also like Mark Bitman so it might be one of his.
C. Play my Top 5 Roles (at least top 4 - number 5 changes) - they are: 1. Maria in "The Sound of Music", 2. Narrator in "Joseph...", 3. Bakers Wife in "Into the Woods", Jo in "Little Women". The number 5 slot that changes a lot are: Eponine in "Les Miserables", Elphaba in "Wicked", Mother in "Ragime" and Donna in "Momma Mia".
D. Sing "Glitter and be Gay" from Candide
E. Sing "O Mio Babbino Caro" by Puccini

That is my list so far. I felt dumb the other day when someone asked me what was on my bucket list and I couldn't remember. Mind you I was running on little sleep and my brain had expoded about 5 times that day, but I should remember what I want to do before I die. So I'm blogging about it so I always have it saved. What's on your bucket list?

For Cherie

My friend Cherie told me that I need to blog more often because it helps her get through the day. No pressure or anything. So this blog post is for.

Cherie is the process of losing her mind. Not this kind of losing her mind:

I think if Michael Ball was going to lose his mind over me, I'd be ok with that. She's more losing her mind over something like this:

Cherie's son is getting married on Friday. A presentation like the video won't be happening (even though I wouldn't put it past Brandon) the craziness and stress will be there. Cherie, everything is going to turn out beautifully! The worst thing that could happen is their wedding cake melting...oops...too soon? heehee!! The couple is going to look beautiful, the church is going to look beautiful and most importantly, you're going to look beautifiul (with or without high heals). I love you very much! You're a wonderful mom and I know your son appreciates everything you are doing.

Now, to lighten the mood, this video is for you:
(In a Bill Cosby mood)

Clarify

In my previous post I had mentioned how things happen for a reason but I don't know if I ever expanded on that. Me being cast as Elsa was a good thing. If I hadn't been I wouldn't have been able to block the show. I wouldn't have been involved in each scene getting to know each person and the character they played. I wouldn't have meet and have gotten to know the amazing people in the show. I wouldn't have been as close to the production team as I was. To learn from their amazing talents each and every day. So this show was a complete blessing to me. I might not have seen it at the begining but in the end it made sense. And that's a lesson too.

Sound of Music Experience

I woke up this morning and almost broke into tears. I have never felt that way about the ending of a show. Let me back up. My stake does a big musical about once every four years. Like the Olympics, but with more music. This year was The Sound of Music. When they announced it I knew I was going to audition. I'm not going to lie, one of my dream roles is to play Maria so I thought I'd audition just for that reason. My thought was it's just a church show so it won't be a big deal. I was wrong. But I'm still jumping a head. I received a call from a women in the stake named Judy Hut. She asked me if I'd be willing to be on the production team and to be one of the directors. I'm not sure who gave her my name at the time I cursed them, now I would thank them. I told her that I was planning on auditioning for Maria and she said that would be fine.

Audition day came. I told Judy that to be fair I didn't want to be in the audition process. I didn't think it would be fair for me to listen to everyone audition and then audition myself and it wouldn't be fair for me to be deciding on parts. So on the day of the auditions I helped everyone get checked in and organized. It was a lot of fun to see how many people came and to help them through the audition process.

I did make call-backs. It was myself and another girl named April that were up for Maria. The other directors decided that whomever was Maria, the other would be Elsa (engaged to Captain before he falls in love with Maria). Well after a long evening of singing and acting the next morning I found out that April got the part. I was upset. I thought the audition went really well and that I rocked it. I actually cried. (I know, I'm silly). But I sometimes forget that things happen for a reason.

Since I was cast as Elsa I told the directors that I'd be willing to block the show. Blocking the show was a long process. It went WELL beyond the two night a week rehearsal schedule. I spent almost all of my lunch breaks going through the script and writing in the blocking. I spent a lot of my nights laying in bed thinking about the show and re-blocking and re-choreographing things. I refused to watch the movie version because I wanted to make things as original as I could. Thankful we had an AMAZING cast. I was shocked at how much talent was in our stake and I was shocked at how much support we received from members of the stake. I had so many ideas going through my head for this show that it was sometimes hard to figure out which was best.

The last few rehearsal I thought were going to kill me. I wasn't sleeping and wasn't eating much because I was so stressed out by how it was all going to come together. I blocked "Something Good" about three times because it never seemed right. Thankfully the cast trusted me and let me make changes. My biggest mistake was not having faith. I forgot that this was in Heavenly Father's hands not mine and that everything would work out for the best. When we performed our Thursday night dress rehearsal, I was able to sigh in relief. I had the thought, "this is actually going to come together." We still had some issues but I decided to turn my anxiety and worries off (well, as best I could).

Playing Elsa was an experience. Since I was spending so much time blocking the show, spending time on Elsa was put on the back burner. Usually I like to spend some time figuring out the character and getting my lines memorized. I've developed a lot of respect for Clint Eastwood since he directs and acts in his movies all the time. That's a lot of work that I wasn't prepared for. Thankfully, again, I worked with amazing cast members that helped me through it. The character is different from the character in the movie. She's not evil (not really). It was politics that separated the Captain and Elsa. In the first act she sings a really fun song about how they are both rich so how will their love survive. We laughed and flirted and it was fun. Then in the second act the mood changes between them. With Germany on the brink of invading Austria, Elsa had the opinion that what's going to happen is going to happen and you just need to go with the flow. The Captain was ready to fight against Germany. This drew a lot of tension which made the development of their last scene together a lot of fun. When we were first running it we played it like it was an ok breakup with no anger. Then one night in rehearsal during our song "There's No Way To Stop It", Wade (Captain) and I got really into it. We were bitter. Then the scene continued that way with anger and glares, etc. Once the scene was over in my head I thought "THAT'S IT!!" For those who have ever acted before, sometimes you have to play a scene in different ways to find the right direction. Wade and I played off each other so well, that the scene fell into place perfectly. I love moments when you have that realization of a perfect scene. It was a lot of fun to be able to play a character that shows emotions from both ends of the spectrum.

The biggest blessing that I received from this show was the friendships. There were two people that I got close to. We laughed, teased each other and loved to chat. That was April (yes, Maria and I became REALLY good friends) and Wade (the Captain). It was so nice to have people there that I could share frustrations I was having with the show and to always have one of them make me laugh and relax. I'll always remember running through the church (yes, we're bad) with April singing our own theme song. And secretly threatening to beat up people and singing a new breakup song with Wade. (we never hurt anyone).

 This is April and I in our dressing room. During the show I wore high heals and April wore uncomfortable shoes. Before the show (and any time we could) I'd wear my sketchers and she'd wear her slippers. We thought the foot attire went quite well with our outfits. We even went for a walk in between our Saturday show wearing them. We were a sight to see.

This is Wade and I before our last show. It's funny to say, but I've never had so much fun breaking up with someone night after night. I will miss Carl (Wade's alter-ego) and Wade's creepy way of saying "soft and white".

This show has changed my life. Like I mentioned before, I was very sad for it to end. I wanted to keep performing again and again. I think it was because of the life changing moments I had. Most of them were internal. I know that my Heavenly Father was speaking to me throughout this show helping me to be a better person and helping me get through different things in my life. I wish that I could put into words how much this show has meant to me. I woke up this morning wanting to live more. I want to sing, run, dance, play with my family, play with my friends (old and new), and change the world. I'm so full of life and wanting to make mine better. I don't know if it's because the taste of the theater was brought back, the new friendships, the message the show shares, the spirit I could feel during the process or all of the above but I truly have been changed. This blog might not make any sense at all but it's the best I can do. I have so many emotions and thoughts going through my head trying to express how I feel so I apologize if my three readers get confused with what I'm trying to share.

I hope that you had an opportunity to see this wonderful production. I will never forget it. If you missed it, let me leave you with some advice that I hope to live my. "A dream that will need, all the love you can give. Every day of your life, for as long as you live. Climb every mountain, ford every stream. follow every rainbow, Till you Find your Dreams".

Hello Gorgeous!!

Today is Barbra Streisands birthday! She is 70 years old. I hope that when I'm 70 years old that I look as good as her and that I can sing as good as her. I've been a fan of hers for a long time. She is truely talented. She can sing, she can direct, she can act and do so much more.

So to celebrate her birthday, here are a few of my favorite songs that she sings. Hope you enjoy!

And if you have time, go rent or buy (I suggest buy) a copy of "What's Up Doc!" It's one of my favorites and she's absolutely hilarious in it!